Aham, usually known as ego, translates to I am in Sanskrit, as told by Paramahansa Yogananda in his autobiography. Similarly, I believe every form of insecurity can be thought of as I am not.


A thought experiment

Ask yourself these questions.

What if a person was born with the same genes as I was? What if they also had the same experiences as I did, at least till the age I started making conscious decisions? Will they behave and think exactly like me? Is my present self merely the result of a set of stimuli presented to a set of genes? Both of which, by the way, I had no control over.

As I think more about this, I feel I am but a vessel playing out a story orchestrated by the universe, a story in which an ordered set of external stimuli are presented to a set of genes. Of course, I can do anything I want and can do, but perhaps I will still be playing out the same story because my mind is the result of these stimuli and genes.

Relation to Ego and Insecurities

Therefore, given the required external conditions, any person or vessel would have reached this exact moment in life—all their achievements, regrets, mental and physical traits—identical to mine. It is easier for my ego to subside after acknowledging this than it is to accept my insecurities—for ego comes from a position of strength, not weakness.

I believe insecurity stems from comparison. Therefore, it may be futile to compare factors that are not in my control. Perhaps I will add more to this paragraph in the future.

Free Will and Determinism

I thank my friend, Jagriti, for bringing a sense of philosophy to my argument. While I do not have prior knowledge of it, I read more about Free Will and Determinism since my argument may raise questions about that. I believe my argument largely supports determinism. Largely because rather than choosing a particular form of determinism—physical, biological, psychological—it uses all of them to explain the external factors. However, I am not against free will. I still believe I can act the way I want to, constrained by my capabilities. Perhaps I need to read more about this age-old philosophical debate.

Meta

I assimilated this blog post over the duration of a year, during which I debated it with my friends and family to find any flaws in my argument. The three books that laid the foundation for my thought process are Sapiens, A Brief History of Time, and Autobiography of a Yogi. Even after a good bit of thinking, these ideas are nascent in my mind. My inboxes are always open for further discussions :)